Talk about a buzz kill.

I walked the dog yesterday.  Today, I can hardly make it up the stairs.  Not sure what I did that blew it, but I'm annoyed now.  I was looking forward to rocking out to the Yoga Meltdown DVD again today.  (side note:  I can tell good things are happening - I want to do the workout now!!  As opposed to dragging my feet when it's time to do it)  Obviously that didn't happen.  We walked the dog again and it was okay, but my trip around Target an hour later was killer.  I was even limping.

I guess I'm just going to have to rely on good eating habits until I'm feeling good enough to work it out again.  :)  GREAT.  ha.

Oh, also, I bought the Wii "Your Shape featuring Jenny McCarthy" today.  It was on clearance for $15.  I've read the reviews online, and they're okay - mostly they point out that the camera doesn't always pick up all your moves properly, and that Jenny is a little too perky-slash-annoying.  With some 400 differnt moves/workouts, I'm thinking that it'll probably be at least a decent workout.  We'll see what happens once my knee doesn't feel like death and I'm able to give it a shot.


The power of positive?

My workplace is undeniably health-friendly.  We have one day a week where the menu options in the caf are all healthy - and a salad bar every day.  We have a workout facility in all the main buildings - one even has a walking path in the warehouse!  They have Weight Watchers at work.  They offer the program I joined that kick-started this whole thing.  We win awards (and funding, I'm sure) for our workplace health initiatives.  We even have an entire office dedicated to healthier living at work.

It's from that office that we got an email about March being National Nutrition Month.  March is probably our busiest month at work, so I haven't even had a chance to read the email until now.  Such is life.

But, I popped open the link for the American Dietetic Association, and was excited.  Yeah, I know.  Another website about "how to lose weight."  Well, I clicked on "Healthy Weight Loss," then "Back to Basics for Healthy Weight Loss."  Sounded like a good way to go.  I have to think it was.

In the first paragraph, there was a sentence that just kind of struck me.  "If you've lost and found the same pounds several times before, it's probably time to go back to the basics of a healthy weight."

I'll be honest:  I didn't read the article past that sentence.  I was just so excited that I had to blog.  Ha.  I just love that they say "lost and found" in regards to weight.  I like it better than "lost and gained."  I like things that don't sound SO negative when it comes to weight loss.  For me, it's really important to think more positively than negatively.  That's just my nature.  There's something about the easy forgiveness in saying that you've "found" that extra weight again.

I suppose this is the point at which I need to say that I don't think it's "okay" to yo-yo diet.  The fact of the matter (Or "Here's the thing" as my mamacita would say) is that it's going to happen.  You're going to lose all this weight, and some of it is probably going to come slinking back into your life.  Probably in the form of a gratuitous number of Shamrock Shakes.  Oops.  I don't think there's any shame in it.  It's not like two pounds found negates 60 lost.  Or 10 lost.  We can't think like that.  Thinking like that only adds to the resounding sense of failure that we feel just at being overweight.

While I don't like finding the weight any more than anyone else, I think there's nothing that I can do but accept it, say "bummer - let's do better tomorrow" and move on.  Move to a place where I can  focus on the positive fact that I've lost some weight, and zero in on what's left to go before I hit my ultimate goal.  Finding the light at the end of the tunnel, instead of focusing on the darkness that might be all around.

Sorry if this is a little rambling.  It's been a long day.  :)

What uuuuuuuup???!!!

Just a quick note:

Someone at work today - someone that I used to see pretty frequently, but haven't seen a whole lot of in the last couple of weeks - asked me if I've been losing weight.  I wanted to smooch her.


It kinda made my day.  TAKE THAT, PLATEAU!



Suck it, Jillian.

Just kidding.  I'm stoked.  I FINISHED THE DVD.  Sure, there were a couple of moves that I couldn't complete like J-Money, but I did it.  I did every move, in some way or another.  There are just things that I absolutely cannot do yet - it's time to say type it out loud - I'm out of shape!!  I needed to modify a couple of things like the chaturanga push-ups (just what it sounds like - that move, turned into a push-up) and the side planks (this move, rotated facing one direction then the next, then back to the first, etc).  A lot of it was pretty tough on my poor little wrists.  I'm not sure how they're going to feel in the morning.

But OMG if I'm not feeling amazing now!!!  Everything feels stretched.  Every muscle, my spine, my fingers, and my toes.  I didn't focus on doing the moves perfectly - I instead focused on making sure that I could feel each move in the part of my body that Jillian was saying I should feel.  I focused on making sure my neck was relaxed and I used all the muscles to do each move, instead of cheating and making it easier by not tightening all my muscles.  Core strong the whole time, slow moves, deliberate moves.

Those of you who do work out at least somewhat regularly know what this feels like.  The warm, exhausted, slightly sweaty, satisfied feeling.  They're not kidding when they say that working out releases the feel-good endorphins into the system.  It's just such a HUGE accomplishment.  I'm mad proud of myself.  I'm just so psyched that I made it all the way through the cool-down and everything.  This is how happy I am.

(please excuse the awesome camera phone picture...it was self-shooting.  It's all for you.)

Oh, and remember the last time I made it through 27+ minutes of it?  Yeah.  I was two Sun Salutations away from being done.  DANG.  I could have accomplished this forever ago.  Oh, well, right?  I've accomplished it now.  :)

Anyone out there have an awesome story of accomplishment from the week?  Or the day?

Feel free to pat me on the back.  Virtually or otherwise.  :D


Things I'm greatful for.

Another Monday, another list of things I’m grateful for.
  • Schoolhouse Rocks.  We learned so very much from those little shorts.  As a matter of fact, we had a moment at work today (when we discovered that one of our members HADN’T seen them!!) when we listened to a little “Interplanet Janet” and “Preamble.”  I could still sing the songs!  It was lovely.  Except that I had IPJ stuck in my head for half the morning.  Nothing like a little Smoker-created entertainment on a Monday morning!
  • Rain.  I love that stuff.  Especially right now.  Rain melts all the snow.  It makes all the winter grossness disappear.  When it’s rained a few times instead of snowing, the plants all kind of wake up a little.  Warm rain makes the world all quiet and frosty with fog.  It also melts dog poo in my backyard.  Holla!
  • Transitions.  I’m having one of those right now – in a few different places.  We’re gussying up the house, cleaning windows and throwing them open to the breeze.  Moving furniture around, looking into changing the mirrors out in the bathrooms (I’ll be putting a post on that on my other blog sometime soon…), finally using some of the million picture frames we have around the house (inspiration:  see Young House Love’s post, here), and hanging shelves.  In my full-time life, the times they are a-changin’ as they say.  New duties, new experience, new stresses.  Bring it on.
  • Spring!  It’s officially here.  And, might I say that I like it.  I’m so ready to be done with winter.  This winter was just cold and miserable.  I always love Spring, but this year it seems especially intoxicating.  Spring means that we can walk the dog every night after work.  Spring means it’s almost time for me to take the new bike out for a spin.  Spring means opened windows and the smell of cut grass.
  • Reese’s mini PB eggs.  MAN I love those things.  They’re unbelievably good.  AND, the little ones are only 90 calories.  I can stomach that just slightly better than their 170-calorie giant counterparts.  Mmmm.  Looks like I found another Kryptonite.  :)
  • Watching Evin eat pita chips.  Super stinkin' cute.  I love that cat.  Oh, this is that cat:

Doesn't he just look like an old soul?  He's such a good kitty.

Anyway.  There you have it.  This week's grateful list.  Tomorrow, I promise I'll have a real post.  Promise.


Whoa. Hey.

Hi there.  I...I know I haven't called.  I haven't written.  I've been...it's been busy.  There have been......you know, things.  Don't look at me that way.  No, come on.  It's not like that!  It's just...I have other priorities, things that I have to do...

Le sigh.  I'm also mostly full of it.  I've just been totally forgetting to write.  I don't know.  Maybe it's because the weight hasn't been just dripping off of me (GOD that grosses me out - makes me think of just something horrific like fat rolling off the drip tray of the Foreman grill.  NAST)?  I'm kinda bummed about it, and I'm guessing that's showing in my lack of posting.  My utter lack of posting.  Okay.  So, five days isn't HUGE in terms of blogging (I'm looking at YOU, Lauer),  But still.  It's still way too long.

I'm trying to think of things other than walking the dog at night to actually keep my attention - in terms of exercise and activity.  Anyone got ideas?  I know I've espoused the benefits of things like Jillian's DVD or the Kettleball workout that I have (have I gushed about that thing yet???), but those don't always hold my attention.  And, as proud as I was of myself for running that one time, I just...........it's not interesting.  Maybe I need to seriously consider getting a membership to the Y for their classes?  I don't know.  I gotta think of something to keep my attention, so I keep working out.  Until that happens, I don't think this weight is going to come off like I want (and need!!!) it to.

Anyone have something that'll work?  What works for you guys?  I NEED SOMETHING!


Run Keeper!

Huge fan.

I downloaded the Run Keeper app onto The Droid a bit ago.  I was kinda like "meh" about it.  I had it, but didn't use it.  Then, we started walking the dog more frequently.  Along with the (almost) nightly walks came the Run Keeper.  I love the shit out of that thing.

It's kind of awesome.  Mine uses the phone's GPS to keep track of where I'm going.  It lets me know every ten minutes what my pace is and how far I've gone.  And, in the end, it tells me my overall average and even tells me estimated calories.  (with that though, I do need to say that, any time I do some exercise that doesn't take my own personal stats into account, I'm hesitant to take the number of calories it pops out at me for 100% accuracy)  If that weren't enough, it even lets me save my workouts.  HOLLA.  I'm a fan.

It's been nice for keeping my walking "workouts" in one place, so that I can be sure to record them on my food log later.  It's nice.  I haven't gotten any deper into it yet, so I don't know what else it can do.  For now, I'm digging the fact that I can just keep track of what's happening on our walks.  It's definitely a step in the right direction.

Really?  I dropped that pun for real?  Nice.

Weekly Gratitude!

Holy cats.  Another week, come and gone.  And thus, another Gratitude!
  • Dilbert cartoons.  Scott Adams just gets me.
  • My in-laws.  YES, I know I mentioned them a couple of weeks ago, but I gotta do it again.  We had lunch with them yesterday, and I'm just so proud of them and amazed by them.  Their weight-loss has been an incredible inspiration.  You guys are kicking butt!!!  Keep it up.  :)
  • Some of the people I work with.  I talk on the phone to folks all day long in my job.  Every once and a while, you speak with someone who is just pure gold.  They make you smile and are just the sweetest people.  I had one of those today.  It definitely made my morning - maybe even my whole day.  Thanks!
  • That the work program is coming back!!!  Starting April 6, I'll be taking the Part I of the program.  Little backwards, I know, but I'm so excited to go through this part of it.  From what I've gathered, it's all about learning how to eat - how to look at the labels on your food and all that.  Super excited!
  • Fish sticks.  Yeah, I know that they're not so great for you (mostly breading and all that), but I'm eating fish.  It's a step in the right direction, right?  ha.
  • Sally Hansen nail care items.  I've got stellar fingernails now.  I was a HORRIBLE nail-biter when I was younger.  Pretty much up until about 7 years ago when I met Mr. P.  Horrible.  Nails chomped down to the quick.  Painful stuff.  Thanks to the calming effect of my hubby dear (I know.  Puke.) and Sally H, I've got awesome nails.
  • My work to lose the extra lbs has paid off at least a little.  As I sit here, my wedding and engagement rings are sitting on the arm of the chair next to me. Wait.  Maybe I should be grateful for the extreme cold in the basement.  Maybe that's why the rings are off.  Meh.  Either way.  My rings are off!
I think that's good for now.  I'm trying not to keep this gratitude thing too deep.  Mostly, I like to think of myself as the kind of girl who appreciates the small things in life - so those are the things I'm most grateful for.  Some of it might be a little deeper, but I like the little things.


Square One

I feel like I'm regressing here.

I thought I was doing really well with the whole working out thing, but lately I feel like it's backwards.  I got through 11 minutes of the Jillian DVD tonight.  11. Minutes.  I'm just a little cranky about it.  How long ago was it that I did most of the thing?!  Yeah.  Not cool.

Maybe I'm making excuses, but I actually worked it.  I genuinely tried all of the moves.  I tried them as hard as I could.  And it sucked.  Sucked hard.  For most of the moves, I couldn't complete them just as Jillian and Co. could.  Not even the "easy moves" chick.  Kind of embarrassing, if we can all be honest with each other.  And, this blog is honest, if nothing else.  (that's where I would put my "wry face" emoticon, if it existed)  It just sucked.

After I was done with my 11 minutes of humiliation, I thought to myself, "Self?  Let's just get our sad ass on the elliptical.  Perhaps that will make us feel better."  Self laughed in my face and said, "No.  Not happening."  I got on that baby, and couldn't go for more than a couple of minutes.  Defeated, I slunked to the living room and got my Stargate Universe on.

I don't know what the deal is, I really don't.  I'm just massively fatigued.  My little muscles just can't seem to burn the fuel properly to keep themselves going.  I'm going to ride it out for another week or two, and kind of go from there.  I'm bummed about the thought of maybe needing some medical intervention for whatever this is, but if that's what it takes, that's what it takes.

Wow.  Weak post.  :)  Theme = boo hoo.  ha.

Sorry about that, man.


Biggest Loser - Update!

In case you were wondering with bated breath, breathe normal again.

I did not go to the Biggest Loser tryouts.  To be honest, I kind of forgot about them Saturday morning.  You might see that as another shout out to my mindlessness, but I see it as a sign.  Clearly I was not gung-ho enough about it to go.  I was nervous that I wouldn't be selected (and then fall into the downward spiral of being bummed that I wasn't even picked in gym class), but I was three times as nervous that I WOULD be selected.  I mean, my God.  What if I had to get up there in the Spandex and sports bra, flaunting all the stuff I don't even want my HUSBAND to see in front of millions of viewers.  Ish.  The $250k that I would have won in the end (note my confidence in my power) may have been worth it, but not before and maybe not even after.  I just don't know if I could have done it.  I cringe thinking about it.

Plus, I don't know if I would have wanted to have the pressure of it all weighing down on me.  Losing weight is enough of a strugglefest on its own - I'm kind of thinking that trying to lose weight while trying to win $250k while being on TV while being in my underwear while having the trainers breathing down my neck would probably be a bit much for me.

For now, I go it alone.  Well, kind of alone.  Alone + hubby + you guys.  :)  Not really all that alone at all, I guess!  Just not in my underwear.  Most of the time.


(that's a sound of joy or excitement, in case you were wondering...)

I'm down to a new level of calories!!!  This is a fantastic thing.  This means that my weight HAS still been going down.  Stoked.  I'm not going to give the actual number of calories that I can consume in a day for fear that I will inadvertently give away my weight (the math isn't hard at all), but I'll tell you that I've gone down to the next hundred in calories.  For example, if I was previously eating in the 1500-calorie range, I would now be down the the 1400-calorie range.

What uuuupppppp!

That makes me click my heels in joy at least as much as stepping on the scale did this morning and seeing a smaller number.  I like.



Sometimes, Mom says things that makes sense to me.

Tonight, while talking about something completely unrelated, she told me, "You have the power."

She's effin' right.  I've got the power.  Sometimes I forget that.  Sometimes, I get frustrated and stuck in a loop.  Sometimes, I forget that I can do anything I put my mind to.  Yeah, it might be a little cheesy, but the fact of the matter is, it's true.  We all have within us the power to hit the goals we want to hit.

The trouble, I think, is remembering that we have the power.  It's there, just waiting for us to grab it.

I know I'm not the only person who sometimes feels like I can't make a difference, like I don't have a choice - that whatever I'm up against is all that there is.  But that's not true.  It can't be, right?  I mean, if it was that way, no one would enexpectedly be on top.  There would be no Cinderella stories.  There would be no upset victories, no triumph against all the odds.

Today, I'm going to promise to remember it.  I'm going to apply it to more areas of my life than just this whole weight loss thing.  I'm going to apply it to every little problem I run up against.  I want to challenge all of you to do the same too!  I want everyone to remember that they've got all the power in their little mind.  It's just a matter of harnessing it.

Let's do this.

Weekly Gratitude!

Weekly gratitude time!
  • Mr. Peavs.  He's such a great fella.  His short-comings (Let's face it.  Everone, even me - shocking, I know - has them) are far out-weighed by his awesomeness.  He makes my coffee in the morning, and lets the dog out in the middle of the night.  He tolerates my whining with a laugh most of the time.  He always gets me a heart-shaped box full of chocolates for Valentine's Day.  He's the butter to my toast.  The bacon to my eggs.  Why are my references brekfast food-related??  Love that guy.  Even when I wanna throat punch him.  :)
  • Garlic hummus, cucumber slices, and Muenster cheese.  They make the turkey in my daily turkey pita sandwich lunch edible.  More than edible.  Delictable, really!  Which is saying a lot, because lunchmeats = nast.
  • My greenish thumb.  I like that I can keep random plants (like a pot of annual decorative grasses) alive.  I’m extremely proud of the fact that I can keep alive the Arboracola that was given to my family when my grandpa was in the hospital some 28-ish years ago.  I’m also mad proud of the Burro’s Tail that I propagated all by my lonesome.  It really needs to be re-potted though.  Maybe we'll call it a green-yellow thumb for now.
  • My Droid’s RunKeeper app.  It’s kind of awesome to know just how far I’ve gone when I take Dogzilla for a walk.  It even tells me the estimated calories burned.  Even though it’s probably not 100% accurate for me, it's pretty sweet.
  • Birds.  I’ve heard a few of them lately.  Which reminds me…I need to knock down some nests and put up some chicken wire to keep those dummies out from under my deck this spring.  Wait.  Can I say “dummies” in a gratitude post?  Meh.  I’m leaving it.
  • Sunshine.  When that golden deliciousness chooses to show up, there's just no way NOT to smile.  I love the emergence of spring.
  • "Mad Love."  Yeah, that kid from American Pie and the chick from Scrubs are okay, but I LOVE the other two on the show.  They're awesome, and totally make the show.  I'm a gynormous fan of they guy who plays Larry (a big enough fan that I don't know his name...).  I've watched him play the sidekick on that show about the devil owning a dude's soul and forcing him to chase down demons (yeah, I got nothing when it comes to names today...), as the main character on the short-lived "Sons of Tuscon" (GOT ONE!), and now this.  I like seeing him as the sidekick.  He's good at it.  Also, how have I written that much about a TV show??
There you got it!  Greatfully delicious.


I'm Superman!

And Stacy's pita chips are my Kryptonite.  I want to stop eating the suckers, but I just can't do it.  They're so stinkin' good.  I don't need any hummus or almond butter or anything else.  Just gimme the pita chips.  Mmmm.


Good Lord, is it just me????

I can't seem to get myself back into the habit of working out.  I was really good at it for a few weeks in there, but then I just sort of...stopped.  Now, it's hard to get back into it.

Tonight, I took Cosmo the WonderDog (who, by the way, has lost about .8 pounds in the last 5 weeks!  That's kinda huge for a dog - we're proud of him!) for a walk.  It was roughly a mile or so.  Forgot to turn my Runkeeper on.  Whoops.  Anyway.  We went for a walk tonight, and I was feeling pretty awesome, so I decided to keep the momentum going.  I thought "hey.  Let's try that new balance ball workout we got."

Ummmmmmm.  Yeah.  I suck at the balance ball.  Hard.

I don't appear to have the skills at this point in my life to balance on the ball while pulling around on a giant rubberband.  I mean, I run into walls when I walk.  In tennies.  Sober.  I guess that *kind of* explains why it's a little diffiult to balance on a ball that's supposed to hold my weight (but, frankly, I find that difficult to trust- based on the fact that it's a rubber ball and I'm a big lady...) while I do exercise moves.

As I sit here typing this, though, I notice that my legs are feeling fatigue-y.  Hmmm.  It's definitely the 'ol inner thigh area.  My legs feel like a set of stems that have done more than just walk the dog.  And my shoulders are sore in a good way too.  Arms are nice and solid.  I like it.  So maybe, despite my total inability to actually balance on the ball, I've done some work.  I DOUBLE like that.

Here's to getting back into the groove and keeping it going.