La musica!

Take heed, I'm a lyrical poet.

Not really - I'm a terrible writer, actually. But, I AM a big fan of music. So much so, that I really think it's a huge part of workout success. When I'm listening to a song and I really get into it, the 3.5-ish minutes it takes to finish can be such an awesome distraction. One might even say they help to distract from the fact that your leg seems to have stopped working and you're breathing like a rhinoceros running the mile.

I'm constantly downloading songs. My husband thanks you, combined efforts of Soundhound and Amazon MP3, for bankrupting us $.99 at a time. Ha. When I hear a great song, I have to have it. My library is crazy varied. Electronica, country, rock, hip-hop, even some Country and Western ("Rhinestone Cowboy," you know I'm lookin at you). It's all in there.

And playlists. Ohhhhh, the playlists. I have one for everything. I think it's a leftover side effect from our days of CD burning. And I love it.

The playlist that is applicable to this thread is great. I call it "WORK IT." It's full of upbeat-tempo songs to help power me through the sweat sessions.

I decided today that one of the absolute best tunes out there for working out is "Kick Ass (We are Young)" from the Kick Ass soundtrack by Mika. It has plateaus and really upbeat sections. It's perfect for interval training. Fast walk during the slower parts, sprint during the faster. It's infectious and really gets my chubby buns moving. I love it.

I guess all these words to say "download it." You can thank me later.

xo

Well. That's disappointing.

I've never *actually* posted my weight. I've never said it out loud. I don't make eye contact with nurses after they see the results of the scale, raise an eyebrow, and then write that number down.

It's humiliating. It's not humbling - it's horrifying. There truly aren't enough words to describe how embarrassed I am about my weight and how little I value myself because I can't see myself as anything but Jabba the Hut. No one wants to be Jabba. He's yucky, and bad, and no one likes him. Only slightly worse would be to think of myself as Pizza the Hut from Spaceballs. Yuck. I like myself more than that! But only just barely.

Before I got pregnant with Lillian, I was so proud of myself. I'd managed to lose about 50lbs. FIFTY!! I was looking so much healthier and felt amazing, despite the fact that I still had so much to lose. It was an amazing "stepping stone" of sorts.

Six weeks after Lil was born, I was seven pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight. Kick ass, team.

Then, somehow, I was 20lbs from it. Was it my horrible Reese's Pieces habit? The fact that I didn't work out? The sheer quantity of food like oatmeal and almonds and protein I was eating to try and force my body to make enough milk to sustain this little life? The lack of sleep and postpartum depression?

Yeah, probably all of it.

I've been stuck where I am for 8 months. Eight long, frustrating, enfuriating months. I'm beyond plateau. I'm stuck in the mud and feel like my wheels are spinning out of control and I can't get them to really move.

It's sort of like that with just about everything. Work, social life, weight loss. Some days, it feels like the only thing I'm decent at is knowing that they made my mocha with skim instead of soy. Oh, and keeping Lil alive. We're pretty good at that.

The point is, I feel like being dead honest with myself is what needs to happen.

So, without further ado, the honesty.

Self:

Here are some things you're good at:
* having a positive attitude
* loving your little family, even when Lil won't go to sleep
* encouraging others
* caring about people who don't deserve it
* self motivation
* procrastinating
* laughing through crappy stuff

Here are some things you kinda suck at:
* getting off your butt and just doing things
* self motivation
* being proud of who you are (despite your flaws)
* forgiving yourself for having flaws
* listening to that little voice - who's almost always right, you know
* doing what you know needs doing

In my HS, we had to take a class on self esteem or something, and there was a little saying we had to repeat at the end of class: I am a valuable person. I have dignity and worth. What I do makes a difference. We would often follow that up with "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darnit, people like me" (see also: SNL's Stuart Smalley). There's truth in all that cheesiness though.

I AM a valuable person.
I DO have dignity and worth.
What I do DOES make a difference.

And, seriously.

"I'm good enough. I'm smart enough, and gosh darnit, people like me."

It's time to remember that. Remember my self worth and give myself enough credit to strap on my cowboy boots and get it done. I know I've got the ability - I've done it before! It's just a matter of reminding myself every day that I'm worth it and CAN do anything I set my mind to.

Challenge accepted.

My workplace has put out a new program. A "Biggest Loser" of sorts. Obviously not called that because who wants to bother with copyright issues, amiright?

Anyway. Top prize to the person (individual) who loses the biggest %? $500. Five hundred clams.

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED, workplace. Challenge accepted.

I'm gonna rock this thing.

The only thing I moderately worry about is my milk production. The last time I tried to lose weight, it tanked. I mean, BAD. Like, still haven't recovered two months later. But the fact of the matter is that Lil is already getting 1/2 formula at daycare because I can't produce enough. So, if we're reduced to morning/evening and comfort nursing, I guess that's what's going to happen. Ironic that, in order to give her a more positive and healthy parental role model, I'm risking losing what's probably kept her this healthy - breast milk. It's a bummer, but I want her to look at her mom and see a healthy woman and get healthy eating habits from us.

I also can't wait to force Mr. P to participate. Ha.

There are so many things coming up that I need to get in shape for too - another trip to Europe this fall, 1-year pics with Lil, having another baby sometime before I get too old...

I mean, I'm 31. Time's a runnin' out to get in shape while I'm still young enough to enjoy it.

So, cheer me on, kids! That $500 would come in damn handy in Europe. :)

Here; where I've never been before.

I've discovered that I have gotten to this really strange place that I don't think I've been before. I'm completely out of control. It's like I can't say no, no matter how much I know what I'm doing goes against my goals.

Frankly, it's bizarre.

I find myself trying to figure out how to tell myself to say no, but can't.

Here's an example. Caribou. I love their coffee, I love their bakery goods. My weaknesses are the Campfire Mocha and the apple fritter. So. Flippin. Good. So good. BUT, together, they're 1000-ish calories. Yeah, no. Not good.

I was going to Caribou every morning for a couple of weeks. I would order my Campfire (medium, soy, with dark and milk chocolate - in case you wanted to get me one...) and tell myself no fritter. And then would order the frickin fritter. It's like someone else just took over my damn mouth!!

I've never had this kind of terrible, dysfunctional relationship with food before. I've always been able to say no if I wished. That's just something I find I can't really so anymore.

I'm trying to figure out how to fix it. For now, it's just the avoidance of that which tempts me. Caribou free for now. Sad. I hope I'll be able to figure out how to look temptation in the eye and say no again. Soon would be good. I miss my mini-marshmalows...

Well. Hello, Jell-o!!!

Mostly, that's me talking to my post-baby gut. :) But also to anyone who may still be reading the 'ol blog.

Quick set of stats to catch my reader up. Baby was born on 10.10. Go, team! I gained about 30lbs during my pregnancy. I walked out the door of the hospital at least 7lbs lighter. :) At my 6-week postpartum visit, I was 7lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight. Holla! NOW, I'm 5 months down and somehow almost 20lbs up. W.T.F.

My seester and I agreed that I have 6 months after having Lil to lose the baby weight before I'm a Big Fat Fatty. Shit. I have 30 days to lose 20lbs.

We have a challenge, folks.

Before you get all bent out of shape, I'm joking. Only because I'm breastfeeding and I need those calories, baby! BUT, I've decided that I need to be down to my pre-pregnancy weight by the time Lil is 9 months. It took 9 to put the lbs on; I should get 9 to kick' em off.

As my least favorite character in my least favorite Batman movie said, "let the games begin." And I hope you read that in Bane's obnoxious voice. I know I typed it that way...

When it rains, it pours!

TWO posts in two one day!!!

It's your lucky day, man.

Just a quick little thing.  I found a new blog today that I really kind of love.  It's interesting and fantastic, and I hope you'll like it as much as I do.

http://www.canyoustayfordinner.com/

Girl lost 135 lbs.  And looks DAMN good.  Read on, readers!

Welcome back, not Cotter!

Oh, man.  It's been a while, huh?  Yeah, I know.  Shame and all that.  :)

I feel like I should do some full disclosure.  I have two posts that are sitting in "Draft" status.  Just two.  It's only been two-and-a-half months since my last post.  Or has it been three?  Either way, I've been sitting on a couple and watching as the top websites I visited filled up with everything but Blogger.  As a matter of fact, I don't even think Blogger IS one of the 8 or 10 top websites I frequent.  They even changed the Blogger format.  Yikes.  Still gotta figure that one out.

Since I plan on being a better blogger for a while here, I'll need to learn to navigate that puppy.  Again.  Soon.

So, maybe you're saying, "Since Blogger is no longer in your Top 8 or 10, what is?"  Well, my friends, it's a little website called Babycenter.com.  YUP.  Mr. Peavs and I are breeding.  WATCH OUT, WORLD!  :)  Come October, there's going to be a real, adorable new reason to get my skinny on.  Lots and lots and lots of  not sleeping and working out to get all skinny and yummy.

I'm going to do my best to keep this blog all about the whole weight loss thing and not much about the whole preggers thing.  Granted, for a while, it'll be a combination of the two of them, but I'm not going to talk about breastfeeding and labor except in how many calories they burn.  (both of which still SERIOUSLY gross me out, btw...)

For now, we'll stop there.  There will be some more fun posts about how awesome it is working out and eating now and what's coming next.

Stay tuned!

Who IS this girl, and where have I gone?!

Something strange has happened, dear readers.

I enjoy working out!

What the H???  I've never actually enjoyed it.  It's never been anything that I thought about or looked forward to.  Working out was hard work.  You get sweaty, it's hard to breathe.  It takes time away from the things you want to do.  It's painful.  It's not fun.  It's sore and achy and tired the next day.

But it's awesome.  It's such a high after you're done.  You're shaky and need a gallon of water and can't stop talking (at least, that's my jam!).  There's no real way to describe all the highs of working out.  It's just so spectacular.  I love it.  I really do.  For someone who seriously couldn't do a pushup to save my life, I'm now doing a pile of them (full disclosure - they're knee pushups, but I can do a whole lot more of those than the one or two regulars!) at once.  I can do a grip of jumping jacks and CRUNCHES.  Actually do crunches.  It's craziness.

I was in Ohio for work a couple of weeks ago.  First time traveling for work, first time in a hotel room by myself, big meeting the next morning...so I was feeling all out of sorts and jittery.  Instead of taking a quick dash across the street to get some bad-for-me snack food, what did I do?  Jumping jacks, pushups, lunges, squats, and crunches!  I just couldn't sit still, so I turned on the Kardashians (promptly turning OFF the sound...yikes) and got to it.  I was all tired after the 20 minutes or so that I was working it, and went to bed feeling good.  It was pretty great.

Craziness that I like.  :)

I didn't workout today or yesterday.  I'll be blaming Tuesday's kettle bells class for kicking my ass something fierce.  However, I can't let that take all the blame.  I'm feeling much better today.  I miss it.  I feel kinda itchy or like I'm full of nervous tension without it.  It's a really weird feeling.  Not that I'm doing anything about it, mind you.  ha.

Anyway.  Just a quick report on that.

Adios, y'all!

Prepare yourself for some whining...

OKAY.  We’ve got a situation happening here.

I logged into my beloved Myfitnesspal to log some food.  Along the way, I thought, “I’m going to see when my last check-in was.”  My girl Jill had lost a pound since her last weigh-in (YAY YOU!!!!!!!!!!), and I was feeling motivated to see when my last lb drop was.

And then, I was kinda heartbroken.

SEPTEMBER.  I haven’t lost weight since SEPTEMBER.  That’s FOUR months with no change.  Four.  What the H.

Because I’m feeling a little moody lately, I’m going to break down the negatives of this here plateau.

• No smaller for my sister’s wedding.

• Four months of weight loss totally lost.  Gone.  My journey is now going to be four months longer.  Neat.

• Four months where I should have been losing weight to have a baby.  GONE.  Does that mean another four month delay on that one too?  SUCKY.

• I’m no closer to fitness.  I’ve lost four months in my quest to enjoy working out and how it makes me feel.

• Talk about self-confidence plummeting!  I totally feel that this is a completely un-attainable goal, and that makes me mad.

Man, I’m frustrated.  And, if I can be a little honest, a bit ashamed of myself.  I’m better than this.  I know better and know how to get my butt in gear.  But now I feel like all this know-how is total crap, and more like “things I heard in passing from a third-party” than knowledge.  I’m annoyed and disappointed in myself.  How could I have been letting this sit for so long?!  I mean, I knew that it was before Christmas when I did my last real good weight loss.  But I didn’t realize it had been frickin’ four months.

Okay.  Putting on my big-girl panties.

I’ve lost four months, but all I can do now is surge ahead.  Well, surge ahead or eat all the cupcakes the next time someone brings them in to work.  I tend to not be one to wallow in self-pity for too long (nor do I hold a very good grudge!), so really my only option is to get over myself and move ahead.  Realize that I’M the one who made the mess, so I’M the one who has to fix it.

Lynda says that you need to have CONCRETE goals in order to achieve them.  So, here are some concrete goals for you, to help me break out of this crap-ass funk.

• I will burn 3-500 calories five days a week – in conjunction with the lower calorie intake.
• I will plan my meals in advance to avoid being stuck in the “what’s for dinner” crisis.  This meal planning will take place on Sunday or Monday nights.
• I will eat at least 5 servings of fruits and veggies a day.  Meal planning will help.
• I will banish the chips and chocolate and other temptations from the house.  PURGE TIME!
• I will sleep for 7 hours a night.  Sleeping aids optional (we’re going through some insomnia lately…).

Okay.  That’s a decent list to get started with.  It’s kind of a lot of things, but some of them are inter-twined, so it should be pretty achievable.  Because I’ve got confidence in me!!!  J

In other news, I’d like to make a semi-formal announcement that, as an attempt to have a bit of a release from my (seemingly) constantly racing mind, I’m going to take up writing again.  I want to start with short stories, and then hopefully move on to something that people would pay a buck for on Amazon.  J  I’m no Rowling or Austen, but I can spin a decent yarn if I have a mind to.  Hopefully I can make it work.  Wish me luck!

THEY'RE BAAAAACK!!!!!!!

Two things I adore have made their ways back into my life!!

Numero uno.  KETTLE BELLS!  And man.  It came back with a serious punch to my fat ass.  :

I got to the workout facility when everyone else was warming up.  Our changing room really only has two private spaces to change.  When I got there, it was oddly crowded, so I just went to the bathroom.  As I walked  into the room, I understood why.  I think there were ELEVEN people there today!!!  Eleven!  We NEVER had more than five last session.  It was really great to see so many people in there, sweating ourselves silly.  When I went to grab a bell, I didn't see any 15-pounders.  Bummer - that's all I've ever used.  So, I went with a 20.  Let me tell you.  5lbs makes a HUGE difference.  I was DYING.  I was working my muscles overtime, and it was kinda nuts.  Every move was so much more difficult because of the extra pounds.  By the end, I was just hoping it would hurry up and get over so I could go home and be sore.  :)

The funny thing, though, is that I was stronger.  I was able to hold a plank.  Some of the moves I KNOW I couldn't do last year, I could do tonight.  Like planks.  I've never really been able to do them.  We don't really do them in my yoga class unless we're focusing on abs.  I pulled 'em off for the whole 30 seconds.  It might not seem like a lot to a lot of people, but that's HUGE for me.  I was shaking toward the end of the third plank.  I was also able to do a pile of mountain climbers (HATE).

It was a rough workout, but the 600 cals I blew?  Yeah.  I'll take 'em.  And can't WAIT until next week!

Next up?  SHAPE!!!!!

That's right, kids.  The class that started it all!  I genuinely thought it wasn't coming back after it closed up last time.  Enrollment was low, and I think appreciation of the class was even lower.  Not for me, but for others who didn't take it quite as seriously.  I mean, I had a solo class once!  I was the only person there.  That's nuts.  Anyway.  I'm so excited that it's back.  Lynda is even leading it again.  From what I hear, it sounds like the format is going to be slightly different, and I think I like that.  Don't know if you know it or not, but I'm *kind of* an over-sharer sometimes.  The format of this new version sounds a little like it'll be more open; more time for discussions and things that the participants have learned.

Unfortunately, I'm traveling for work tomorrow, so I have to miss out.  Coworkers A and S are taking the class again though, so I'll have some note-takers.  :)

There you have it - two things I LOVE are back in my life.  SO EXCITED!

Anything new (or returning) for anyone out there??

The 30-Day Challenge...

Um, okay.  First off, sorry for not posting this earlier.  Like so very, VERY many things in my life, I'm late.  To those of you who know me, this should not come as a surprise.  :)  In my defense though - we had three later dinners and a closet to clean out that prevented the posting of this bad boy until now.  So, enjoy.  PS - this is exactly as I had written it, so it still sounds like Anniversary day.

One of my FB friends has decided to get a grip on her life. Now, I don't really know her too well (I was friends with her sister in HS), but I know she really wants to make changes in her life. She's been struggling but has shown how much she wants to make a change by giving herself a 30-day challenge.

So, I though to myself, "on this, your one-year anniversary of blogging, why not do it too?" SO, I'm going to. I'm going to challenge myself to a throw-down of wills. Me vs. Other Me.

Here are my challenges (in no particular order):

• Blog daily about what happened that day. My successes, failures, and how I felt today. Pay attention to how certain foods make me feel and the rush of working out (or guilt of not...).

• MEAL PLAN, SUCKA! Seriously. Stop talking about doing it, and do it. Once a week.  Four times a month. It's not hard. I have 18,000 magazines. 99% of them have recipes therein. USE THEM!!!

• Remember that one bad decision does not a whole day ruin.  Yeah, it was dumb to have some chips (Why can't I quit you, Lays Classic?!), but that doesn't mean that I should also have a giant burger and some cookies because I already blew it.

• WORK OUT.  Like I mean it.  The five-per-week rule must stand.  I've done about 50-50 for the month of January.  I want to make it 100% for the month of February.  My health depends on it, man.  I'd like to make it so that exercise = at least 500 calories of burn.  This means that yoga nights need extra Kinect or DVD time.  The 200-ish calories I burn there are great, but more is always better.

• Practice calm time.  Really, really try hard to destress.  Take time to just breathe and remember that low stress = low cortisol and that low cortisol = weight loss.  Breathe, breathe, breathe.  Maybe consider meditation?  Or, just learn how to chill out.  :)

• Be more firm in my food choices.  Don't let my cravings or lack of menu knowledge ruin things for me.  Going to Wendy's for lunch?  Just get one of their great salads or a baked potato.  Don't eff up and get the damn deliciousness that is the W burger and some of those delish fries.  Just keep it simple and remember how much you want this!

• Which brings me to the last item.  Remember how much you want this!  Remember why you're losing weight. Make a list of reasons.  Revisit said list as often as you need to.  Make up new reasons.  Tell people your reasons.  Ask them to help you remember when you need it.  Keep the list with you everywhere you go.  Pull it out if you need to.  Just remember it!

So, there you go.  This is my 30 day challenge for myself.  It starts January 31.  Who's coming with me??

Kinecting the dots.

Yeah.  I'm that frickin' clever.  :)

I vowed in this little New Year's post that I was going to work out five times per week.  My plan was a Sunday through Thursday attack, leaving me open on Friday and Saturday, in case I wanted to have some fun or have a bit of a loungy day.

Week 1 = bust.
Week 2 = success!
Week 3 can still = success!  But I have to work out Friday and Saturday.  Eek.

I took Sunday off because it was my birthday.  My 30th birthday.  I needed some time to be depressed.  Oh, and to shake off the cute little hangover that I had gotten at my awesome surprise party the night before (thanks, Mr. P!!).  Sunday's lounging carried over into Monday laziness.  Bummer.  But, I got myself in gear tonight (and my hubby!) and had a nice sweat sesh on the XBox Kinect system.

Lemme tell you about this system.  It's kinda awesome.  I love(d) my Wii, but this little fella is sweet!  I love how it follows me around, and love how I can get a serious burn with that thing!  I had my HR up to the "Extreme" sector - 80-90% of my max.  I hit that burn for a good 10 minutes, and it was glorious.  I was all kinds of wheezy and sweaty.  It. Was. Awesome.  Even Hubbs got into the groove!  We played "Adventures" and some tennis.  (I whopped his ass in tennis, in case you were wondering)  During the dodgeball game that we were playing, there are some down times.  We were jogging pretty swiftly during those times.  Burn, baby, burn!

Anyway.  I pretty much just wanted to pat myself on the back for the 5 days next week, and get myself pumped up for the 10 days in a row that I'm planning on working out in the next...10 days.  Eek.

What up with you, dear readers?

PS - tomorrow is my 1 year anniversary of the blog!!!!  I'm not really sure what I'm going to do, but it's going to be some kind of post of fun.  :)  Stay tuned!

Holy. Shit.

Yeah, I know.  Curse central.  :)

So, my girl Jill (not Michaels) and I have been kind of been collaborating on this weight loss thing.  She's trying to drop the lbs, I'm trying to drop the lbs...it's a natural progression that we would try to drop the lbs together.  We spend a whole lot of time chatting about recipes and myfitnesspal and working our buns off (literally and figuratively).  So, at the end of this past week, we were talking about how you can tell you've lost some weight.  The thing about losing weight by eating well and working out together is that sometimes it's hard to know for sure that you've lost weight.  The scale doesn't always show your success when there's a workout involved.  Thank goodness for the growing muscles, but the frustration of not seeing the numbers go down can be a bit irritating.

You have to learn to trust what the 'ol body is telling you in these kinds of instances.  You have to look at how your posture has improved from all the locust yoga poses you've been doing.  Notice how you don't need lotion/water/butter to get a ring off your finger.  See how an over sized sweater you've always loved just looks frumpy now.  Flex those biceps and show off the triceps that you didn't even know existed.  Feel how your jeans are filling out, instead of bagging on your non-existent ass directly out of the dryer.  The very hot, clothes-shrinking dryer.

One of the most startling things for me has been really seeing the number of notches I've put into my belt.  I haven't worn a belt for as long as I can remember.  The plain truth is that pants were always too tight to warrant a belt.  Never had a need for it.  ...aaaaand, no one except the plus-size stores sold the belts I'd need to be wearing.  Man, that sounds just sad to say it out loud.  Anyway.  After I lost my first maybe 10lbs, I bought myself my first belt.  I wasn't ready to trade in my now-too-large pants for a smaller model.  The most logical thing for me to do was get a belt.  The only belt I found that I liked well enough to spring for was a brown leather number from Old Navy - on clearance and in a size that was too big.  So, I had my in-laws bring over a leather punch that they had, and popped three new holes in the belt.  I figured that two of them would be too small for a while, cut off the end that I wasn't going to use, and called it a day.

Some people save a pair of their gynormous pants so they can shimmy into one leg once they've hit their goal. Some people take a million pictures along the way.  Me?  I've got that belt.  And that shirt that I still can't wear.  I decided when I punched the fourth hole in that belt that I would hold onto it and use it as my guide.  As my giant pants leg to shimmy into.  I have visions of me needing to loop it halfway around myself again someday.  I see it tied instead of looped.  I can't wait.

I've punched four more holes in that belt.

Back to the beginning of the post.  I was telling Jill about the belt, and showed her last night.  I love positive reactions, and she gave me one!  It's pretty nice to be reminded every once and a while that you're doing something good.  Thanks Jill!!

Oh, and in case you were wondering - the number of inches between the original hole I used (for the record, it was the SMALLEST of the original three!!) and the one I'm currently using (the smallest of the remaining!) is five and a half inches.  FIVE AND A HALF INCHES!  How dang crazy is that?!

Anything exciting to share, my five or six readers?  :)  How do you keep track of your losses?

Back in the saddle again!

MAN.

I sort of feel like I'm starting over from the beginning again.  All that time off (to the tune of about 3 weeks!!!) has pushed me back to the point of practically being back to square one.  Imagine, if you will, me banging my dumb head on the keyboard saying, "STUPID!  STUPID!  STUPID!"  Because, man.  That's pretty much what I am.  Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Oh well.  Live and learn, yeah?  Yeah.

The learning that's taken place is that consistency is key.  Don't be ditching out on your workouts.  Maybe ditching out on the perfect eating if you really have to.  BUT DON'T DITCH THE WORKOUTS!!!  Starting from the beginning again is dumb.  And totally counter-productive.

I did the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred again tonight.  Like, really did it.  Hard stuff.  I like the concept of these little workouts.  Three circuits of three minutes of strength training-two minutes of cardio-one minute of abs.  Everything from side lunges with arm movements to jumping jacks to all kinds of crunches.  I like that she's all about not taking breaks while you're kicking your own ass.  I mean, it's a 20-minute workout.  There's really not a whole lot of reason to take big breaks in between the circuits or moves.  BUT, in those 20 minutes, if you really push yourself, you get SUCH benefits.

I'm feeling it already.  I can't wait till tomorrow.  :)

So, for week 1 of 2012, I didn't do such a great job of working out.  I logged my meals, and sometimes it was a great day and sometimes it was a shat day.  I've tried to keep a positive attitude - telling myself that I can do this and I will be more determined.

Just because I wanted to do a better job of posting pictures to keep people entertained, here's one of me on NYE.  Happy new year, friends!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Happy 2012 all!

In fine tradition, I'm going to make some resolutions!  This year, I'm pretty determined to actually follow through on these.  I mean, I'm going to be 30.  In 14 days.  (*sob*)  It's about time I learned how to follow through on my New Year's Resolutions.  Apparently, the tradition of New Year's Resolutions goes back to ancient Rome.  Like, BC-ancient Rome.  Since I couldn't find any other history to contradict this one, I'll take it.  I wonder how many of the ancient Romans made their Resolutions and subsequently broke them?  Who else is willing to bet that's as long-standing as the tradition to make the Resolutions?  :)

At any rate, I'm going to make some Resolutions for 2012.

1)  I will be a better communicator.  Anyone who is unfortunate enough to be a friend of mine knows that I SUCK at communication.  I don't answer my phone, I don't make calls...essentially, I *kind of* expect everyone else to make the steps, rather than do them myself.  I'm going to get better at not doing that.  Better at not sucking.  ha.  In fact, I've already made a pact with one of the besties to be better at communicating (she sucks too, but nowhere near as much as I do!  ha).  We're going to put in the effort to call one another once every two weeks.  In that same line, I'm going to call my mom more often.  Even if it's just a two-minute check-in phone call, I'm going to call her more often.  I miss her.  Anyone else want to try to talk more?  Huffster, my new computer has a camera - we can Skype!  :)

2)  I will do a better job of appreciating the things I have.  Like most people, I can sometimes have a tendency to think more about what I want than about what I have.  I have a lot.  I have so much more than plenty of other people.  That's something I'd really like to work on.  There's no reason I shouldn't be thankful for what I have.  I'd like to try to kind of carve out a little time every day to think about what I've got, and be thankful or appreciative for it.

3)  I will be a better wife.  Sometimes, I catch myself slipping into Nagtown.  I don't want to be there.  I don't want to be that wife.  I want to be a great wife.  The kind that takes time to show her husband how much she loves him.  I have never subscribed to the "marriage is hard work" mindset.  Despite not believing that, I can believe that it takes hard work to keep yourself a good spouse.  Being married to Mr. P is easy.  He's a dumb boy a lot of the time, but he's so easy to love.  I need to remember that, and make myself easier for HIM to love.

4)  And last but not least.  I'll get my head back in the game.  I've been slacking quite a bit lately - from writing on the blog to tracking my food.  What does that translate into?  Weight gained back.  SO FAR, it's not enough to make me panic, but I know that, if I don't get back on the wagon, it's gonna be trouble.  So this Resolution is to exercise five days a week.  My goal is to do some form of working out Sunday through Thursday, leaving the weekend open for other stuff (like cleaning the house or shopping, both of which still burn calories but aren't a 45-minute workout).  I'm hopeful that the classes offered at work will resume ASAP so that I can take those again.  I miss my yoga!!  :)  On top of the working out, I want to get back on the food tracking train.  In a big way.  I want to be a meal planner, and eat my veggies and stay away from crappy food.  I want to do my weekly grocery shopping mindfully and get only what I need - staying out of those inner aisles that are chockablock full of crap.

This is the year, kids.  I'm determined to make this the year that I take much longer strides with my health and achieve all my goals.  Let's do this.

What are your Resolutions?

Man, I'm frustrated.

I just have been feeling like I'm going backwards lately. I've gained a couple of pounds back, and can't seem to shake any, despite four-times-per-week workouts and doing a decent job of eating well.

I don't really know when the backwards progression started either. Thanksgiving? Halloween? BEFORE???!? It's frustrating as hell to be trying as hard as I feel like I am, and not getting anywhere but the way I don't want to go.

I wonder if I'm being too forgiving with my portions? Or, if I'm having too much of an "I worked out, so I can pig out" attitude? Maybe it's that I haven't been really strict on making sure I get a ton of fruits and veggies?

All I know is that my little sister's wedding is FAST approaching and, at this rate, I'm still gonna look like total crap. And that pisses me off. Not in the "I'm mad so I'm going to work harder" way, either. More like in the "Eff it all" kind of way...

I need to get my groove back, Stella style.

Just a little inspiration.

Okay.  Tomorrow’s Thanksgiving.  You know that’s no good.  Getting into the spirit of the holiday usually means getting ready to wear stretchy pants to take in as much food as you physically can.  I don’t know how the tradition moved from celebrating the harvest and being thankful for the bounty to eating as much food as your stomach can hold and then having a nap.  But I don’t like it.  I don’t like that it’s the fodder for legions of jokes and is an expectation of the season.  That everyone just nudges the person next to them with an air of “oh, well, eh?”  Not to go all soap box on you, but I think the general allowance/expectation of gluttony found during the holiday season is one of the country’s biggest issues.  (off soap box now!)

This year, I’d really like to do a better job of being mindful.  Not just mindful of how much food I’m eating, but mindful of…well, everything else.  I want to be more conscious of all the things I’m truly thankful for; things that I take for granted pretty often.  Having my (general) health.  Having a roof over my head and someone with whom to share it.  Being able to afford not only the pets themselves, but the food they eat and the other accoutrements that comes with pet ownership.  My parents.  My siblings.  My new niece.  My job.

One of those things I take for granted is obviously food.  And not just during Thanksgiving and Christmas – year-round.  There are plenty more people who don’t have what I have, and would undoubtedly be way more thankful than I am to have it.  In a kind of turning-over-a-new-leaf-and-harvest-time-is-a-good-time-to-do-it way, I’d like to be more conscientious about what I’m eating and how that food affects me.  That’s a whole lotta dashes.  J

So, for this Thanksgiving, I’m going to really think about all the things in my life I’m grateful for, starting with the dinner plate, and working my way out from there.  As part of that spirit of gratefulness, I’m going to think about how fortunate I am to have the choice to overeat or celebrate the spirit of the season.  And I’m going to do everything I can to make the right choice.  It’s not going to be easy with Auntie K’s garlic mashed potatoes, but dang it – I’m going to try.

Happy Thanksgiving, oh best beloveds!  Let me know – what are YOU thankful for this year?

EFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

Kettle bells was awesome tonight!

Why the post title then? Because it kicked my butt! :) In a seriously good way though. I'm still tired, 45 minutes later. We did a ton of work with two (15lb!!!) bells tonight. It was a lot of work, but it really felt great.

I told Jody about how I've dropped about 40 since this time last year, and she was so stoked for me. That was great - how supportive she's been during these classes. I told her how it's hard for me to pace myself because I'm competitive with this sort of stuff ("Oh yeah?? You're doing dead lifts that fast??! Well, so am I!"). She reminded me again that I need to keep my own pace while trying to keep up to hers. As long as I keep my heartrate where it needs to be, keep my form correct, and finish the sets, I'm doing well. It really is great to have her on my side. :)

So, while I may be pooped (almost puked twice on the drive home!), I'm happy pooped. In a good way.

Anybody doing anything new and great with your workouts?? Share up!

IT'S A TWO-FER!

I think I promised to give more frequent update photos about a million years ago.  Well, today I'm following through.

A couple of things to note:
1) Sorry for the creeper photo.  I was trying to show dear seester how adorable I was that day.
2) Sorry for the FUZZY creeper photo.  I had totally been busted two seconds before shooting it. ha.
3) Yeah, I took it on my phone.  In the mirror.  In the bathroom.  Like a 14-year-old.  Meh.

So, there's our progress.  From this:

(In Wurzburg, GE - same trip from my original "before" pic)

Um, I just realized how slimmed down I am from then.  Wow...

Gonna try something...

While perusing Pinterest, I stumbled across a blog about eating "Real Food."  I'm intrigued.  I think I'm going to have to read some more about it, and see if it's something I think we can do.  It'll mean that I'll have to take over more of the cooking duties in the casa, but if it gets me out of doing the dishes, I'll probably survive.  Ha.

I think the gist of the thing is that you cut out the processed crap.  From the looks of things, there are plenty of "challenges" to get yourself into the routine, and then work your way up to just being totally processed-food-free.  If I've learned anything in this process, it's that baby steps are the way to go!  :)

In general, the idea of just getting rid of all the processed food is smart.  In one of her articles, the blogger points out 10 reasons to get rid of the junk.  One of the points she made was that it's just wrong to eat something that's engineered to never rot.  The more I think about it, the more grossed out by the idea of eating food that has so many preservatives in it that it doesn't go bad for ever.  That's just messed up, right??  Ick.  During the class I took at work, Lynda mentioned that they take part in a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture).  Since she mentioned it all those months ago, that's something that I've been thinking a lot about. In case you're not familiar with it, a CSA is an organization or group where you pay a certain amount (I want to say it was $500 or $700 for hers) to have a share in a group of farms.  You'll get weekly shipments of various kinds of fruits and/or veggies.  Some weeks, you'll get food you regularly use; some weeks you'll get some stuff that you have never had before.  Some weeks, the bounty is fantastically wonderful, some weeks it's so-so.  It can be a little bit of a gamble, but it's pre-paid veggies and fruits!  TO YOUR DOOR!  (or, to the CSA group leader's door first...)  Another item to put on my "learn more about this seriously" list.

I mentioned cutting  out the processed to Mr. P.  He kind of rolled his eyes and said, "Yeah?" in a dubious tone. Such a little doubting mustafa.  He'll see.  And he'll like it.

Oh, in case you wanted to know the blog, it's called 100 Days of Real Food.  And the site:  http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/.

Wish me luck!  Anyone have any other information about CSAs or eating Real Food?  What have you done to make strives in healthier, more natural eating?  Is there anything that you could absolutely not live without?