Who IS this girl, and where have I gone?!

Something strange has happened, dear readers.

I enjoy working out!

What the H???  I've never actually enjoyed it.  It's never been anything that I thought about or looked forward to.  Working out was hard work.  You get sweaty, it's hard to breathe.  It takes time away from the things you want to do.  It's painful.  It's not fun.  It's sore and achy and tired the next day.

But it's awesome.  It's such a high after you're done.  You're shaky and need a gallon of water and can't stop talking (at least, that's my jam!).  There's no real way to describe all the highs of working out.  It's just so spectacular.  I love it.  I really do.  For someone who seriously couldn't do a pushup to save my life, I'm now doing a pile of them (full disclosure - they're knee pushups, but I can do a whole lot more of those than the one or two regulars!) at once.  I can do a grip of jumping jacks and CRUNCHES.  Actually do crunches.  It's craziness.

I was in Ohio for work a couple of weeks ago.  First time traveling for work, first time in a hotel room by myself, big meeting the next morning...so I was feeling all out of sorts and jittery.  Instead of taking a quick dash across the street to get some bad-for-me snack food, what did I do?  Jumping jacks, pushups, lunges, squats, and crunches!  I just couldn't sit still, so I turned on the Kardashians (promptly turning OFF the sound...yikes) and got to it.  I was all tired after the 20 minutes or so that I was working it, and went to bed feeling good.  It was pretty great.

Craziness that I like.  :)

I didn't workout today or yesterday.  I'll be blaming Tuesday's kettle bells class for kicking my ass something fierce.  However, I can't let that take all the blame.  I'm feeling much better today.  I miss it.  I feel kinda itchy or like I'm full of nervous tension without it.  It's a really weird feeling.  Not that I'm doing anything about it, mind you.  ha.

Anyway.  Just a quick report on that.

Adios, y'all!

Prepare yourself for some whining...

OKAY.  We’ve got a situation happening here.

I logged into my beloved Myfitnesspal to log some food.  Along the way, I thought, “I’m going to see when my last check-in was.”  My girl Jill had lost a pound since her last weigh-in (YAY YOU!!!!!!!!!!), and I was feeling motivated to see when my last lb drop was.

And then, I was kinda heartbroken.

SEPTEMBER.  I haven’t lost weight since SEPTEMBER.  That’s FOUR months with no change.  Four.  What the H.

Because I’m feeling a little moody lately, I’m going to break down the negatives of this here plateau.

• No smaller for my sister’s wedding.

• Four months of weight loss totally lost.  Gone.  My journey is now going to be four months longer.  Neat.

• Four months where I should have been losing weight to have a baby.  GONE.  Does that mean another four month delay on that one too?  SUCKY.

• I’m no closer to fitness.  I’ve lost four months in my quest to enjoy working out and how it makes me feel.

• Talk about self-confidence plummeting!  I totally feel that this is a completely un-attainable goal, and that makes me mad.

Man, I’m frustrated.  And, if I can be a little honest, a bit ashamed of myself.  I’m better than this.  I know better and know how to get my butt in gear.  But now I feel like all this know-how is total crap, and more like “things I heard in passing from a third-party” than knowledge.  I’m annoyed and disappointed in myself.  How could I have been letting this sit for so long?!  I mean, I knew that it was before Christmas when I did my last real good weight loss.  But I didn’t realize it had been frickin’ four months.

Okay.  Putting on my big-girl panties.

I’ve lost four months, but all I can do now is surge ahead.  Well, surge ahead or eat all the cupcakes the next time someone brings them in to work.  I tend to not be one to wallow in self-pity for too long (nor do I hold a very good grudge!), so really my only option is to get over myself and move ahead.  Realize that I’M the one who made the mess, so I’M the one who has to fix it.

Lynda says that you need to have CONCRETE goals in order to achieve them.  So, here are some concrete goals for you, to help me break out of this crap-ass funk.

• I will burn 3-500 calories five days a week – in conjunction with the lower calorie intake.
• I will plan my meals in advance to avoid being stuck in the “what’s for dinner” crisis.  This meal planning will take place on Sunday or Monday nights.
• I will eat at least 5 servings of fruits and veggies a day.  Meal planning will help.
• I will banish the chips and chocolate and other temptations from the house.  PURGE TIME!
• I will sleep for 7 hours a night.  Sleeping aids optional (we’re going through some insomnia lately…).

Okay.  That’s a decent list to get started with.  It’s kind of a lot of things, but some of them are inter-twined, so it should be pretty achievable.  Because I’ve got confidence in me!!!  J

In other news, I’d like to make a semi-formal announcement that, as an attempt to have a bit of a release from my (seemingly) constantly racing mind, I’m going to take up writing again.  I want to start with short stories, and then hopefully move on to something that people would pay a buck for on Amazon.  J  I’m no Rowling or Austen, but I can spin a decent yarn if I have a mind to.  Hopefully I can make it work.  Wish me luck!

THEY'RE BAAAAACK!!!!!!!

Two things I adore have made their ways back into my life!!

Numero uno.  KETTLE BELLS!  And man.  It came back with a serious punch to my fat ass.  :

I got to the workout facility when everyone else was warming up.  Our changing room really only has two private spaces to change.  When I got there, it was oddly crowded, so I just went to the bathroom.  As I walked  into the room, I understood why.  I think there were ELEVEN people there today!!!  Eleven!  We NEVER had more than five last session.  It was really great to see so many people in there, sweating ourselves silly.  When I went to grab a bell, I didn't see any 15-pounders.  Bummer - that's all I've ever used.  So, I went with a 20.  Let me tell you.  5lbs makes a HUGE difference.  I was DYING.  I was working my muscles overtime, and it was kinda nuts.  Every move was so much more difficult because of the extra pounds.  By the end, I was just hoping it would hurry up and get over so I could go home and be sore.  :)

The funny thing, though, is that I was stronger.  I was able to hold a plank.  Some of the moves I KNOW I couldn't do last year, I could do tonight.  Like planks.  I've never really been able to do them.  We don't really do them in my yoga class unless we're focusing on abs.  I pulled 'em off for the whole 30 seconds.  It might not seem like a lot to a lot of people, but that's HUGE for me.  I was shaking toward the end of the third plank.  I was also able to do a pile of mountain climbers (HATE).

It was a rough workout, but the 600 cals I blew?  Yeah.  I'll take 'em.  And can't WAIT until next week!

Next up?  SHAPE!!!!!

That's right, kids.  The class that started it all!  I genuinely thought it wasn't coming back after it closed up last time.  Enrollment was low, and I think appreciation of the class was even lower.  Not for me, but for others who didn't take it quite as seriously.  I mean, I had a solo class once!  I was the only person there.  That's nuts.  Anyway.  I'm so excited that it's back.  Lynda is even leading it again.  From what I hear, it sounds like the format is going to be slightly different, and I think I like that.  Don't know if you know it or not, but I'm *kind of* an over-sharer sometimes.  The format of this new version sounds a little like it'll be more open; more time for discussions and things that the participants have learned.

Unfortunately, I'm traveling for work tomorrow, so I have to miss out.  Coworkers A and S are taking the class again though, so I'll have some note-takers.  :)

There you have it - two things I LOVE are back in my life.  SO EXCITED!

Anything new (or returning) for anyone out there??

The 30-Day Challenge...

Um, okay.  First off, sorry for not posting this earlier.  Like so very, VERY many things in my life, I'm late.  To those of you who know me, this should not come as a surprise.  :)  In my defense though - we had three later dinners and a closet to clean out that prevented the posting of this bad boy until now.  So, enjoy.  PS - this is exactly as I had written it, so it still sounds like Anniversary day.

One of my FB friends has decided to get a grip on her life. Now, I don't really know her too well (I was friends with her sister in HS), but I know she really wants to make changes in her life. She's been struggling but has shown how much she wants to make a change by giving herself a 30-day challenge.

So, I though to myself, "on this, your one-year anniversary of blogging, why not do it too?" SO, I'm going to. I'm going to challenge myself to a throw-down of wills. Me vs. Other Me.

Here are my challenges (in no particular order):

• Blog daily about what happened that day. My successes, failures, and how I felt today. Pay attention to how certain foods make me feel and the rush of working out (or guilt of not...).

• MEAL PLAN, SUCKA! Seriously. Stop talking about doing it, and do it. Once a week.  Four times a month. It's not hard. I have 18,000 magazines. 99% of them have recipes therein. USE THEM!!!

• Remember that one bad decision does not a whole day ruin.  Yeah, it was dumb to have some chips (Why can't I quit you, Lays Classic?!), but that doesn't mean that I should also have a giant burger and some cookies because I already blew it.

• WORK OUT.  Like I mean it.  The five-per-week rule must stand.  I've done about 50-50 for the month of January.  I want to make it 100% for the month of February.  My health depends on it, man.  I'd like to make it so that exercise = at least 500 calories of burn.  This means that yoga nights need extra Kinect or DVD time.  The 200-ish calories I burn there are great, but more is always better.

• Practice calm time.  Really, really try hard to destress.  Take time to just breathe and remember that low stress = low cortisol and that low cortisol = weight loss.  Breathe, breathe, breathe.  Maybe consider meditation?  Or, just learn how to chill out.  :)

• Be more firm in my food choices.  Don't let my cravings or lack of menu knowledge ruin things for me.  Going to Wendy's for lunch?  Just get one of their great salads or a baked potato.  Don't eff up and get the damn deliciousness that is the W burger and some of those delish fries.  Just keep it simple and remember how much you want this!

• Which brings me to the last item.  Remember how much you want this!  Remember why you're losing weight. Make a list of reasons.  Revisit said list as often as you need to.  Make up new reasons.  Tell people your reasons.  Ask them to help you remember when you need it.  Keep the list with you everywhere you go.  Pull it out if you need to.  Just remember it!

So, there you go.  This is my 30 day challenge for myself.  It starts January 31.  Who's coming with me??

Kinecting the dots.

Yeah.  I'm that frickin' clever.  :)

I vowed in this little New Year's post that I was going to work out five times per week.  My plan was a Sunday through Thursday attack, leaving me open on Friday and Saturday, in case I wanted to have some fun or have a bit of a loungy day.

Week 1 = bust.
Week 2 = success!
Week 3 can still = success!  But I have to work out Friday and Saturday.  Eek.

I took Sunday off because it was my birthday.  My 30th birthday.  I needed some time to be depressed.  Oh, and to shake off the cute little hangover that I had gotten at my awesome surprise party the night before (thanks, Mr. P!!).  Sunday's lounging carried over into Monday laziness.  Bummer.  But, I got myself in gear tonight (and my hubby!) and had a nice sweat sesh on the XBox Kinect system.

Lemme tell you about this system.  It's kinda awesome.  I love(d) my Wii, but this little fella is sweet!  I love how it follows me around, and love how I can get a serious burn with that thing!  I had my HR up to the "Extreme" sector - 80-90% of my max.  I hit that burn for a good 10 minutes, and it was glorious.  I was all kinds of wheezy and sweaty.  It. Was. Awesome.  Even Hubbs got into the groove!  We played "Adventures" and some tennis.  (I whopped his ass in tennis, in case you were wondering)  During the dodgeball game that we were playing, there are some down times.  We were jogging pretty swiftly during those times.  Burn, baby, burn!

Anyway.  I pretty much just wanted to pat myself on the back for the 5 days next week, and get myself pumped up for the 10 days in a row that I'm planning on working out in the next...10 days.  Eek.

What up with you, dear readers?

PS - tomorrow is my 1 year anniversary of the blog!!!!  I'm not really sure what I'm going to do, but it's going to be some kind of post of fun.  :)  Stay tuned!

Holy. Shit.

Yeah, I know.  Curse central.  :)

So, my girl Jill (not Michaels) and I have been kind of been collaborating on this weight loss thing.  She's trying to drop the lbs, I'm trying to drop the lbs...it's a natural progression that we would try to drop the lbs together.  We spend a whole lot of time chatting about recipes and myfitnesspal and working our buns off (literally and figuratively).  So, at the end of this past week, we were talking about how you can tell you've lost some weight.  The thing about losing weight by eating well and working out together is that sometimes it's hard to know for sure that you've lost weight.  The scale doesn't always show your success when there's a workout involved.  Thank goodness for the growing muscles, but the frustration of not seeing the numbers go down can be a bit irritating.

You have to learn to trust what the 'ol body is telling you in these kinds of instances.  You have to look at how your posture has improved from all the locust yoga poses you've been doing.  Notice how you don't need lotion/water/butter to get a ring off your finger.  See how an over sized sweater you've always loved just looks frumpy now.  Flex those biceps and show off the triceps that you didn't even know existed.  Feel how your jeans are filling out, instead of bagging on your non-existent ass directly out of the dryer.  The very hot, clothes-shrinking dryer.

One of the most startling things for me has been really seeing the number of notches I've put into my belt.  I haven't worn a belt for as long as I can remember.  The plain truth is that pants were always too tight to warrant a belt.  Never had a need for it.  ...aaaaand, no one except the plus-size stores sold the belts I'd need to be wearing.  Man, that sounds just sad to say it out loud.  Anyway.  After I lost my first maybe 10lbs, I bought myself my first belt.  I wasn't ready to trade in my now-too-large pants for a smaller model.  The most logical thing for me to do was get a belt.  The only belt I found that I liked well enough to spring for was a brown leather number from Old Navy - on clearance and in a size that was too big.  So, I had my in-laws bring over a leather punch that they had, and popped three new holes in the belt.  I figured that two of them would be too small for a while, cut off the end that I wasn't going to use, and called it a day.

Some people save a pair of their gynormous pants so they can shimmy into one leg once they've hit their goal. Some people take a million pictures along the way.  Me?  I've got that belt.  And that shirt that I still can't wear.  I decided when I punched the fourth hole in that belt that I would hold onto it and use it as my guide.  As my giant pants leg to shimmy into.  I have visions of me needing to loop it halfway around myself again someday.  I see it tied instead of looped.  I can't wait.

I've punched four more holes in that belt.

Back to the beginning of the post.  I was telling Jill about the belt, and showed her last night.  I love positive reactions, and she gave me one!  It's pretty nice to be reminded every once and a while that you're doing something good.  Thanks Jill!!

Oh, and in case you were wondering - the number of inches between the original hole I used (for the record, it was the SMALLEST of the original three!!) and the one I'm currently using (the smallest of the remaining!) is five and a half inches.  FIVE AND A HALF INCHES!  How dang crazy is that?!

Anything exciting to share, my five or six readers?  :)  How do you keep track of your losses?

Back in the saddle again!

MAN.

I sort of feel like I'm starting over from the beginning again.  All that time off (to the tune of about 3 weeks!!!) has pushed me back to the point of practically being back to square one.  Imagine, if you will, me banging my dumb head on the keyboard saying, "STUPID!  STUPID!  STUPID!"  Because, man.  That's pretty much what I am.  Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Oh well.  Live and learn, yeah?  Yeah.

The learning that's taken place is that consistency is key.  Don't be ditching out on your workouts.  Maybe ditching out on the perfect eating if you really have to.  BUT DON'T DITCH THE WORKOUTS!!!  Starting from the beginning again is dumb.  And totally counter-productive.

I did the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred again tonight.  Like, really did it.  Hard stuff.  I like the concept of these little workouts.  Three circuits of three minutes of strength training-two minutes of cardio-one minute of abs.  Everything from side lunges with arm movements to jumping jacks to all kinds of crunches.  I like that she's all about not taking breaks while you're kicking your own ass.  I mean, it's a 20-minute workout.  There's really not a whole lot of reason to take big breaks in between the circuits or moves.  BUT, in those 20 minutes, if you really push yourself, you get SUCH benefits.

I'm feeling it already.  I can't wait till tomorrow.  :)

So, for week 1 of 2012, I didn't do such a great job of working out.  I logged my meals, and sometimes it was a great day and sometimes it was a shat day.  I've tried to keep a positive attitude - telling myself that I can do this and I will be more determined.

Just because I wanted to do a better job of posting pictures to keep people entertained, here's one of me on NYE.  Happy new year, friends!