Who IS this girl, and where have I gone?!

Something strange has happened, dear readers.

I enjoy working out!

What the H???  I've never actually enjoyed it.  It's never been anything that I thought about or looked forward to.  Working out was hard work.  You get sweaty, it's hard to breathe.  It takes time away from the things you want to do.  It's painful.  It's not fun.  It's sore and achy and tired the next day.

But it's awesome.  It's such a high after you're done.  You're shaky and need a gallon of water and can't stop talking (at least, that's my jam!).  There's no real way to describe all the highs of working out.  It's just so spectacular.  I love it.  I really do.  For someone who seriously couldn't do a pushup to save my life, I'm now doing a pile of them (full disclosure - they're knee pushups, but I can do a whole lot more of those than the one or two regulars!) at once.  I can do a grip of jumping jacks and CRUNCHES.  Actually do crunches.  It's craziness.

I was in Ohio for work a couple of weeks ago.  First time traveling for work, first time in a hotel room by myself, big meeting the next morning...so I was feeling all out of sorts and jittery.  Instead of taking a quick dash across the street to get some bad-for-me snack food, what did I do?  Jumping jacks, pushups, lunges, squats, and crunches!  I just couldn't sit still, so I turned on the Kardashians (promptly turning OFF the sound...yikes) and got to it.  I was all tired after the 20 minutes or so that I was working it, and went to bed feeling good.  It was pretty great.

Craziness that I like.  :)

I didn't workout today or yesterday.  I'll be blaming Tuesday's kettle bells class for kicking my ass something fierce.  However, I can't let that take all the blame.  I'm feeling much better today.  I miss it.  I feel kinda itchy or like I'm full of nervous tension without it.  It's a really weird feeling.  Not that I'm doing anything about it, mind you.  ha.

Anyway.  Just a quick report on that.

Adios, y'all!

Prepare yourself for some whining...

OKAY.  We’ve got a situation happening here.

I logged into my beloved Myfitnesspal to log some food.  Along the way, I thought, “I’m going to see when my last check-in was.”  My girl Jill had lost a pound since her last weigh-in (YAY YOU!!!!!!!!!!), and I was feeling motivated to see when my last lb drop was.

And then, I was kinda heartbroken.

SEPTEMBER.  I haven’t lost weight since SEPTEMBER.  That’s FOUR months with no change.  Four.  What the H.

Because I’m feeling a little moody lately, I’m going to break down the negatives of this here plateau.

• No smaller for my sister’s wedding.

• Four months of weight loss totally lost.  Gone.  My journey is now going to be four months longer.  Neat.

• Four months where I should have been losing weight to have a baby.  GONE.  Does that mean another four month delay on that one too?  SUCKY.

• I’m no closer to fitness.  I’ve lost four months in my quest to enjoy working out and how it makes me feel.

• Talk about self-confidence plummeting!  I totally feel that this is a completely un-attainable goal, and that makes me mad.

Man, I’m frustrated.  And, if I can be a little honest, a bit ashamed of myself.  I’m better than this.  I know better and know how to get my butt in gear.  But now I feel like all this know-how is total crap, and more like “things I heard in passing from a third-party” than knowledge.  I’m annoyed and disappointed in myself.  How could I have been letting this sit for so long?!  I mean, I knew that it was before Christmas when I did my last real good weight loss.  But I didn’t realize it had been frickin’ four months.

Okay.  Putting on my big-girl panties.

I’ve lost four months, but all I can do now is surge ahead.  Well, surge ahead or eat all the cupcakes the next time someone brings them in to work.  I tend to not be one to wallow in self-pity for too long (nor do I hold a very good grudge!), so really my only option is to get over myself and move ahead.  Realize that I’M the one who made the mess, so I’M the one who has to fix it.

Lynda says that you need to have CONCRETE goals in order to achieve them.  So, here are some concrete goals for you, to help me break out of this crap-ass funk.

• I will burn 3-500 calories five days a week – in conjunction with the lower calorie intake.
• I will plan my meals in advance to avoid being stuck in the “what’s for dinner” crisis.  This meal planning will take place on Sunday or Monday nights.
• I will eat at least 5 servings of fruits and veggies a day.  Meal planning will help.
• I will banish the chips and chocolate and other temptations from the house.  PURGE TIME!
• I will sleep for 7 hours a night.  Sleeping aids optional (we’re going through some insomnia lately…).

Okay.  That’s a decent list to get started with.  It’s kind of a lot of things, but some of them are inter-twined, so it should be pretty achievable.  Because I’ve got confidence in me!!!  J

In other news, I’d like to make a semi-formal announcement that, as an attempt to have a bit of a release from my (seemingly) constantly racing mind, I’m going to take up writing again.  I want to start with short stories, and then hopefully move on to something that people would pay a buck for on Amazon.  J  I’m no Rowling or Austen, but I can spin a decent yarn if I have a mind to.  Hopefully I can make it work.  Wish me luck!